The Anxious Wait

Tiptoeing around the fires,
A cold winter's night chills me through
And when I think of you all alone
The glass in my gut moves further.

I gag and I moan but there is no end
To the anguish until I hear your voice again
Gracefully dancing, I feel the hot stones
Burning my feet beneath my slippers

But my bones just won't warm up -
I shiver as melodic music plays
Up and down my vertebrae
As keys upon the piano in my bedroom

I must be losing my mind
Because time just doesn't make sense,
And the music won't stop,
The voices told me I cannot.

And I keep dancing,
Tiptoeing around the fires:
My bones freezing and my feet
Just an inch from the flames,

But they won't let me stop,
And the music won't stop,
And the glass in my gut keeps
Cutting and tearing me up...

If I can't hear your voice tonight,
Then I'll never be alright again.
Time swims across the melody,
And the night just will not end.

Player (Two)

My unsuspecting, idiot jock boy
Who believed that somehow
Feigned love would
Win me over:

You let me hug you, but did you realize
How capable I am of tightening,
Enveloping, squeezing, til I
Heard your last breath?

Just an ounce of whole truth from your
Sickening lips of your plans,
Befuddling my palace mind,
And I would have.

But what if you had won this game;
This competition for my honor,
You had so direly
Tried to win --

When reality washed into you a thought:
That perhaps I'm not the perfect waifu
Your body had wanted,
Begged me for?

What then?

Would the unsatisfying sex have been
Enough for you? Or was this
Just another of your failed
Long term plans?

Pretending your way through your
False friends, dispassionate sex,
Your power-trip career,
All with me --

Dangling alongside you like a paper
Doll, dangling in the breeze,
Just yours to play with
Once you're bored?

And since you've lost this game,
Will you hold it against me,
Your last shred of human
Holding on by a thread?

Watch me, as I rise above your
Tainted, viscous fluids and
Weep, as I will have
Never chosen you.

Player (One)

The lies you fed me on a silver spoon
Oh, how they led me astray
Like a dream, a summer
Nighttime facade...

We were friends, yet somehow more,
Blind to demons circled about
But somehow awake, in
Your filthy grasp.

Tell me, how much easier was it,
To compete with the few
Instead of the many?
Was it simple?

The thought of your arms around me;
I did not realize how close
You were to snapping
My soul in two.

The thought of you so close to me,
My sleeping body vulnerable,
I did not realize just how
Much I trusted.

And now the thought of your touch,
Magnetic, static on my skin,
Churns my stomach, and
Leaves me cold.