Player (Two)

My unsuspecting, idiot jock boy
Who believed that somehow
Feigned love would
Win me over:

You let me hug you, but did you realize
How capable I am of tightening,
Enveloping, squeezing, til I
Heard your last breath?

Just an ounce of whole truth from your
Sickening lips of your plans,
Befuddling my palace mind,
And I would have.

But what if you had won this game;
This competition for my honor,
You had so direly
Tried to win --

When reality washed into you a thought:
That perhaps I'm not the perfect waifu
Your body had wanted,
Begged me for?

What then?

Would the unsatisfying sex have been
Enough for you? Or was this
Just another of your failed
Long term plans?

Pretending your way through your
False friends, dispassionate sex,
Your power-trip career,
All with me --

Dangling alongside you like a paper
Doll, dangling in the breeze,
Just yours to play with
Once you're bored?

And since you've lost this game,
Will you hold it against me,
Your last shred of human
Holding on by a thread?

Watch me, as I rise above your
Tainted, viscous fluids and
Weep, as I will have
Never chosen you.

Narcissist

Read me like a book
Your eyes pierced my soul
As a spider faintly crawls
Under a wooden door frame

But the more words spoken
The more you grew,
Your soft skin crawling
Into human upstanding

Shifting, reading, waiting
Your never ending thoughts
But no guilt, no conscience
To brush your hunt aside

Your viscous, umber venom
Dripping on the carpet
I had laid out to marry on
With no mind to stop.

Remind me that I let you in
Remind me this was my doing
Innocence you feigned upon
Your shifting, smug smile

Tell me that I'm wrong
The way you dance,
You flirt, you charm
Is not for your amusement

Roll the dice, poke the bear
Forget that I am something more
So I may come to conscious
Once you are faced away

Player (One)

The lies you fed me on a silver spoon
Oh, how they led me astray
Like a dream, a summer
Nighttime facade...

We were friends, yet somehow more,
Blind to demons circled about
But somehow awake, in
Your filthy grasp.

Tell me, how much easier was it,
To compete with the few
Instead of the many?
Was it simple?

The thought of your arms around me;
I did not realize how close
You were to snapping
My soul in two.

The thought of you so close to me,
My sleeping body vulnerable,
I did not realize just how
Much I trusted.

And now the thought of your touch,
Magnetic, static on my skin,
Churns my stomach, and
Leaves me cold.

Dangerous Game II

Watch me gaze upon your
Tainted, viscous fluids
You had once called love,
Your blood black on my

Rose, cleanly carpet.
Watch it as it seeps
Into the fabric,
Leaving no stain.

And with your dying breaths,
Remember why you
Came here in the
First place, human.

Mister Non Committal,
Mister Minimum Effort,
Dirty as the makeup
Still staining your face.

Stealing hearts from
Married souls was quite
The fun, masturbatory
Act, wasn't it?

The thrill of the catch,
Taunting you into a
Stimulating, active,
Obsessive state.

And when the gods and
The spirits judge you
Dead, will you have ever
Truly loved another person?

Dangerous Game I

Watch me carve myself open,
Guts and ribs in open air,
Baring my soul and all
For you to play upon.

I look sick upon your familiar face
Stomach pouring onto the floor
Dark and fearless, smiling
How you were taught.

Is reality an illusion, or a game?
From your words I could not
Tell if you were laughing,
Or crying, for help.

Your hands reached for my heart,
Sliding easily through flesh
With desire and charm
And determination.

Blood from lack of breathing fell
Upon your soft, wanting skin
My eyes full of realize, but
Yours on the treasure.

Emptied of light, of conscience,
Your thickly drooling gape
Insisting this would help,
This hunt of me.

A world of crimson blurred around
Your pitch black shallow eyes
Upon my very love you'll
Never understand.

I can finally spot the light in hand,
Taken as an edge to myself
Now turned and used to
Free your blood.

The viscous venom upon my carpet
I had once laid out to marry on,
Seeping, poisoning me
Away from him.

I stick it in once more, your sickened
Nerves cut like hairs unfolded,
Yet within, there is naught
But a single spark.

I turn, the fresh breath of what I've done
Seeping into my drowning lungs,
Tingling my endings
Into feeling again.

Itching Underneath

Ivory tusks trapped under skin
Aching and swelling within the rush
Bursting with yearn to feel the wind
Which envelopes the sundered, dead brush

Swaying my desire to be freed
As the skeletons of old bones spread
Gently under the depressed, old tree
Witness to my claw-marks seeking tread

My blood boiling, writhing, tingling nerves
Wishing for freedom from this cage
From these monstrous, clinging flesh curves
I once believed were beautiful

Without the pain and the hollowed heart
My soul, empty isolation
Happy becomes a moment of art
Of love, of divine emotion

Moves the ivory, the teeth and bone
To rest within the muscle walls
Scratching the innards no more alone
No more at all, the loved one calls

The swelling to calm and settle slow
Upon a midnight, eyes of sleep
His voice is heard once again, below
The depressed, old tree's kept from weep

One more time before the cold night ends
His light rays shine upon me some;
Thawing every touch the love would send
Beating fast, flesh has overcome

Dread of nightmare steals the sleep time
His voice rings clear to stall the fears
Wings keep safe as a blanket of lyme,
Stone to keep away streams of tears.

Shapeshifter: ~Part VII & Part VIII~

"I... Umm...." Don't freak out now, Annabelle. Pull yourself together.

"Oh, you got it from my purse, huh? Such a sneak!" she playfully whacked my thigh with her over-sized, white designer bag.

"I.. uh... yeah." I tossed the key back into her open bag, and opened the door for her, stepping aside for her to go inside. "I... I'm... Sorry." I felt myself scratch the back of my neck, forcing a weak smile.

She laughed loudly, her deep, sharp giggles echoing down the empty street. "Such a joker, Belle. I like you." To my surprise, she took one calculated step to the side, putting herself in perfect position to take me by the shoulders and, with some impressive force, put me against the wall. A small sound escaped my lips and before I could say a word, she had her soft, lavender lips against my own. I closed my eyes and tasted fine liquor and the freshest fruit, harvested from the Garden of Eden itself. Temptation came over me like looming, shadowed hands on my arms, moving me like I was a puppet. And there was desire again, burning in my souls like a dragon's breath, moving my hands up and down her back, her sides, and up into her angelic hair.

The tingling of energy swam through my veins and into my core, resurrecting some of my spirit and waking up my human body for the first time in too long. I felt all of my arm hair stand on end, goosebumps lining my soft, olive skin under my jacket. I held her against me, letting her warm, heated form lean against me, against her best friend's house. When I felt her chest rested on mine, I slid my hand up the back of her black button up, digging my nails in just enough to show her I begged for more. At the same time, I put some will into my claws, making sure she wouldn't be sick that night. I felt her nausea creep into my fingers, up my hand, my arm, and into my shoulder, where I kept a spark of magic especially curated for this occasion. It would never make it into my system, and would never go back to hers.

Her breath was all I could hear, as it matched the rhythm of her lips and her hands in harmony. I felt a deep chill as she carefully slipped her hand up my side, under my tank top. When her warm, wanting hand made it to my ribs, I became lucid, all at once. It was like a smack in the face, reminding me of what I was doing. I mustered up the little bit of will I had left, and since I couldn't pull away with my head against the wall, I pushed her away as little as possible and was about to squeak out some words. The words didn't come out right away though, since I noticed something odd.

Her hand... Is over my heart.

"Wh-What? Why is it so hard to feel your pulse?" She blinked with wide eyes. "...Are you alright?????" She looked more concerned than frightened, but I knew I was internally shaking.

"I.. Um... I am very flattered... But you're really drunk, so I just didn't want to rush things with you. And about my heart... It's fine, I just have a condition." I forced a short laugh. "So, don't worry."

"Oh... I see." she smiled back then looked down, her face turning slightly red. "You're a great kisser, you know." she nervously giggled, but she had a genuine, charming smile.

"Well Belle, you were a fantastic date. Thank you." she stumbled into the doorway, where I saw a familiar black, fluffy cat who sat in the walkway just inside. I felt the blood finally rush to my face, then I rolled my eyes at my scared self, still standing outside their door in the nighttime wind. "If can't believe I was almost embarrassed because of Necro." I whispered. Still smiling, amused at myself, I reminded myself that cats can't speak English.

=========ACT II (PART VIII)=========

=====GODDESS AMONG MORTALS=====

I stumbled into the house haphazardly, almost tripping on my meowing ball of fuzz, and closed the door silently behind me. I slipped off my heels with great, drunken stealth, but I couldn't have been too quiet since I was startled by the sight of someone leaning against the corner of the stairs.

"That good a night, huh?" asked Narcissa, smugly. "Nice job trying to be quiet, but I waited up for you anyway. Nice girl though?"

Necro rubbed against my leg as I leaned against the wall. The floor kept tilting one way or the other, which worked against my spaghetti, drunk legs. I toppled backwards, the cushy carpet floor catching my fall, and I laid back, letting my head rest on the floor. Suddenly remembering where I was, I sat back up quickly, looking at my best friend in the world.   

"She was great." I genuinely smiled, for the first time in a while, and giggled up a storm while Cissa gave me a look of 'What am I going to do with you?'.

She held out her hand, partially covered by a brown knit jersey, and I took it. She pulled me up, and next thing I knew, I was laying sideways in bed, somehow having my flannel cat pajamas on, feeling as though my bed had turned into a cloud made of magic and fantasy. I turned to stare at my ceiling, still foggy from the booze. I wonder... I shot up out of bed, and to my delight, my stomach felt fine. Bouncing on my bed a little, I heard a strange sound and turned to see Necro yawning, looking sleepily at me. The light from the streetlamps outside lit my room just enough so I could see everything.

"Sorry, baby." I whispered to him, and he gave me a look that said 'I am greatly offended, mere human.'. But he curled up again indignantly in the same spot he was, and fell right back to sleep.

My phone said it was 3:29 A. M., and I smiled, as I realized I had numerous missed texts from Belle. She's just adorable. Today is going to be a great day... I breathed it all in; the cool, almost-fall air, the smell of apple cider filling the house, and the smell of her perfume all over my hair. She reminds me of someone wonderful...

I turned over, hugging my teddy, and I dreamed a long dream. I was floating on a cloud, somewhere so high in the sky that I couldn't see the ground. I felt a tickle on my face, and I awoke on a field of grass. Tall plants lined the edge of a river nearby, and large fields of a variety of crops filled in the river banks neatly. They seemed to go on forever, as they even met the horizon. An unfamiliar cat rubbed its face against my leg while I sat, and I got up, brushing the dirt off of my pajama pants. It was magnificent, with the warm beating sun blessing me with its mere presence, and the sky sparkling blue with few clouds. I could smell the heat baking some of the crops, while others were being watered by rain. But there aren't any clouds.

A larger thing walked over to me. A cat... human.. hybrid? The domestic cat rubbing my leg turned to face it, then lowered their head as if to bow. My mind almost couldn't comprehend how beautiful its wings were, once I saw them. They were as vibrant as the sun, and appeared somehow lighter than the air, yet they were still firm enough to carry this being. It had a sharp-toothed mouth with a cat-like head, had long, feline fore arms, human fingers with long talons, and fur covered human-like legs and feet.

It said something to me in several tones simultaneously, but I could not distinguish one syllable from the other as it tried to communicate. I looked at the bowing cat, and they looked at me, and as I awkwardly stared I felt that I was supposed to be responding to something I hadn't yet heard.

The large, human cat thing, at about nine feet tall, was intimidating on its own. To amplify that fear it let out a deep growl, clearly either impatiently waiting for an answer or just waiting to bite my face off. The sight and sounds knocked me off my feet, and the soft grass caught me while I fell backwards.

To my surprise, as I looked at this mountain of a creature, it coughed a little then said in several different tones at once, "Human... Be careful. Do you... Understand me?"

I let out a squeak in response, then cleared my dry throat, finally answering with the loudest whispered "Yes!" I could muster, the weight of fear holding me from actually speaking.

"Good."

My stomach sank, and the beautiful picture melted away, leaving blackness in its wake. I felt my bed underneath me once again, its pillowed blankets enveloping me in a cocoon of comfort and safety. Necro patted my face with his paw, his toe beans cold to the touch.

"Today is going to be a weird day, my friend."

Body Snatcher

Ever lying
Under shadow
Watching myself
Playing, stringing

Lies and lies
Blanket tears,
Eyes and eyes
Dampen fears

Steeling spirits
Holding closer
Soaking inside
Pulling, thieving

Face to face
Scaring you,
Skin to skin
Stealing you

Ever crying
Under shadow
Watching myself
Morphing, sculpting

Lies and lies
Stealing souls
Eyes and eyes
Burning gold

Shapeshifter: Part V

Shackles holding me upright against a smooth stone surface, I awoke to... a different realm entirely, turning my stomach to shreds and stealing my breath from my heaving chest. Spheres the size of houses tumbled and turned in a black infinite abyss, dotting the vista with stars of lost hope above and around me. The spheres barely missed me, but those dots in the sky didn't look quite right either, almost as if each one had its own expressions and emotions as if they were some how alive. This turned my vision blotchy, and I attempted to close my eyes but it burned with the strength of a searing pan from an oven. I didn't dare look down in the horror that I may have been, in fact, floating, as my legs dangled past the slab I was tied to. I tried to close my eyes but they refused, and my body screamed as I opened my mouth and no sound escaped, as if I had never had one. I saw nothing of myself besides my left arm, which looked darker and skinny, a long hand sprouting forth with even longer fingers; I wasn't sure I could get used to the sight of it and panicked even further than what I believed my limits were. The unease in my stomach came to a vomit as I felt something alive within me, trying to emerge (crawl?) up my throat. The lack of breath running through my throat did not disturb me in the least, as if I never even had lungs. A windy whirring sound caught my attention for a brief few seconds, which came louder and louder, as if something were moving towards my dangling, infinitesimal body in this chaotic world of the strange. The thing in me was slimy and was coming out any way it could, a few tendrils, possibly even tentacles, at a time. Expanding and stretching, I felt my throat about to burst.

I woke up face-planting the floor again, this time too late, and I squeaked with a half scream into the solid floor when I turned my head. With a muffled thud all of me landed without too much harm done. I coughed and gasped loudly, a horribly loud cacophony of wheezes coming from my exasperated body. I writhed along the floor and held onto the rug until my breath finally slowed a bit, sweat covering the once clean, pink fluff of my small rug. I felt the terrible stomach drop of foreboding and with a start, I paused, and ran to the bathroom to vomit what was left of my dinner.

I'm never eating calamari again, I repeated in my head like a broken record, tears flowing down my face from the toxic taste of bad, half-digested seafood and bile.  After hours of retching, I was finally empty and laid on my side on the cushy blue bath mat, my muscles aching and my stomach feeling like I had swallowed needles. 

"Water..." I croaked to the air, pushing on my leg to slowly shamble over to the kitchen to get a glass, nearly falling with each reach of my now weakly legs. The walls were an excellent tool for catching myself, at the least. The cool liquid soothed the irritation while that sustenance helped my stomach stop turning with every second gone by. With a fumble or two, I hastily searched for my phone, the only device between herself and I. My 'men's' flannel pajama pants tried to contain the phone forever, but alas, I beat them at their own game by taking the phone out of its textured, industrial case. No new notifications lit up the bleak, depressing screen with 9:52 A. M. read on it. I opened the texting app and quickly typed out "Good morning. It's Annabelle" before staring into the white, infinite light that was the message box.

If I put a winking face after, it might seem too forward or creepy. But if I put no smiley I might sound like an ass. But if I do use a smiley she might think I'm too friendly. Or she might hate smileys. Goddamned human norms...

I started breathing shorter and I placed my phone down, closed my eyes, and inhaled with all of my might. My lungs were squashed like the gods were clamping down on each one with a large, muscular hand.

Calm down, Annabelle... You idiot... I really need to do something about this anxiety, and this weird lung-squeezing sensation.. It's going to become a huge problem. And with that thought, I forced my shaking hands to pick up my phone, type a regular smiley face and send the message, then dragged myself over to the marshmallow couch with frailty. I let the couch devour all of me that it would allow, with a box of crackers in one hand and The Dreamlands Journals: X in the other.

Serena will be here soon, at least. Hopefully she's good. I'd hate to lose another mundane servant...

The Dreamlands series didn't sit as well with me today as it normally would, as I kept flashing back where I was a few hours ago. Each time I saw the long, thin, brown arm coming out of me, my stomach turned once more. My body crawled with specks of pins and needles all over with my strangely quick, but quite normal healing abilities. The clock chirped as it struck noon, and my crackers were running low. I prepared to see Serena by primping my messy bun and wiping off my streaked makeup from some days prior. After all, who doesn't love a post-scheming B. O.?

Serena was normal, to say the least; 'Mundane' and 'inconspicuous' were her middle names. The stomach churns pried my attention from The Journals and, giving up, I decided to watch Serena instead. I had barely noticed her coming in as she gave a mousy "hello!" and begun the work I was paying her for immediately. She had shoulder length wavy brown hair pulled into a top knot with a bandanna over most of it, with dark brown eyes and an earnest vibe that seeped into everything she touched. She was perfectly normal, for hired help. The best part about her was her lack of awareness of my false walls.

My leg itched when, with a buzz, my phone finally vibrated. I picked it up, and it was her.

"Good Afternoon :)

You and me, martinis, 7 o'clock tonight. You in?"

Her forwardness never ceased to impress me, and I dropped my phone onto the wooden table with a clatter while holding my breath. I read it over once, then twice, then three times, after picking it up with a careful grip.

"She wasn't supposed -" Serena turned and looked at me, listening, as she was the only person here. "I just -" I stopped at that, feeling my mind start shorting out, and made a heel turn before swiftly sliding on my striped socks into my bedroom.

"She wasn't... She wasn't supposed to ask me out... THIS soon..." I half-breathed to the air. The other half was a loud, ever increasing wheeze. My senses began veering, as I then heard the ticking of the analog clock as if it were right next to my ear, TICK... TOCK... TICK... TOCK... The ticking began to drift away, but before I could feel relief, I smelled the cleaning solution Serena used in the kitchen filling my nostrils with ammonia. My nose and sinuses were on fire, and I threw myself on the bed at the woozy unraveling of my balance.

After what felt like a whole day of having my eyes closed, I then could hear my phone vibrating inside my brain, my skull, my bones, like magical vibrations were torturing and sensationalizing my unassuming body before I even knew what was happening.

Magical seizure? The words came to mind, but I hadn't felt anything like it before in the 106 years I had been on this strange earth.

Asthma... Magic... HALT. I gathering up all the Willpower I could within myself, feeling it flow through me like a warm, violent liquid. That I could concentrate was certainly a miracle, allowing me to finally end the curse Annabelle had been stricken with from infancy. Warm liquid pooled in my lungs and it stung and burned as hot as lava. If you could imagine pouring bleach into your chest cavity, that wouldn't even begin to describe the agony I had just begun putting myself through. The pain in my chest completely covered all of the pain I would have had to bear within my skull.

I maintained a firm grip on the flannel sheets and quilted blankets of my bed, just barely being able to direct my screams into the bed, hopefully muffling them enough that Serena wouldn't hear.

I awoke several hours later facing my ceiling, all of my pain and mental anguish finally gone. The relief overflowed within my soft, squishy shell of a body. My lungs felt oddly clear and free from strain, and my head was sorting itself out at a quick and steady tempo. "Thank the Gods." I whispered to the peace and quiet of my room. The different recesses of my mind, no matter how deep, had been knocked around quite a bit. I could feel the disarray cluttering corners and niches of the dark halls that mapped my thoughts. My palms stung with nail marks where I had clawed through the silk, violet sheets, drawing drops of blood.


I rolled over with more ease than ever before, my new body finally becoming accustomed to my unfamiliar spirit. Enjoying the lifting of weights off of my chest, I reached for my phone on the cold, solid end table.

It was all real, right?
To my delight, the message was actually there. The anxiety of the day that had melted away was soon replaced with overwhelming determination. I caught myself smiling at my phone as I answered, "Sure! I'd love that."